single parenting with Amber Jones

It’s funny how people act in front of different people……..the character they portray. I had a discussion with a co-worker and she was talking about the sermon that the minister had given the previous Sunday. To summarize, the minister had stated that if the only reason you were going to service was to put on a show for people — meaning you thought people would believe you were a better person if you went to church on Sunday, therefore that was the only reason why you went — then you really had already gotten your reward.

Therefore, when you died and went to heaven God wouldn’t give you any additional credit for going to church because you had already recieved your reward while you were on Earth.

It caused me to think about other things and wonder if the same rules would apply — if you only treat your family well out in public because you don’t want others to see how you really speak to your wife/husband/kids? If you only attend your child’s activities because you want people to think you are an active non-custodial parent? Etc.?

After having a very stressful week at work I was talking to a friend of mine about our lives as a whole.  After discussing this for a while the conversation migrated to a time period last year when a mutual friend was literally fighting for his life — and frankly we both thought we might lose him to the battle.  At that point we had stated that too much time and energy was spent stressing out about the things that we can’t control rather than focusing on the things within our life that we should be concentrating on……our relationships with others. 

After all does it really matter in the scheme of life whether or not you made five digits or six?  Whether or not you drove a Lexus or a Toyota?  Or if you had the magical VP or CEO initials following your name? 

In the end, I want my kids to have memories of me and us as a family.  I want them to think of me as more than just a financial provider…but rather as a parent who took an active participation in their life. 

Having said all of this, they can only have those memories if I let go of the STRESS.   If I let go of all of the little (and not so little) aggravations in my life long enough to have the ability to enjoy my time with them.  So, with that, forget about work…forget about the bills….forget about your ex….forget about the laundry…..

Go have fun with your family!

 Let me start this off by saying that I love my kids as much as humanly possible - having said that I can tell you that there is no way in H-E-LL that I would intentionally be a single parent of six children……..let alone voluntarily create eight more.  I think that what that woman did goes beyond irresponsibility to the point where I question whether or not she has a mental illness besides. 

Furthermore, I think that the physician who performed the in-vitro fertilization should at minimum be looked at from an ethical standard by the AMA.  I believe that as a physician you should be held at an elevated ethical standard than almost any other profession.  In this circumstance it has come out in the media that the same physician performed all of the in-vitro fertilizations for every one of her seven pregnancies.  In addition, the provider also knew that this woman was a single unemployed parent who was using a previous settlement to pay for these medical procedures. 

Given this information, I believe that it was unethical for this provider to continue on with these elective procedures if not only for the patient but also for her children who were unable to speak for themselves.  Not only that, I also feel as though this provider should have referred his patient to a mental health professional to be sure that she was not suffering from something that required at the very least counseling or at the most treatment. 

Please feel free to comment below as to your thoughts - do you agree or disagree?

 My toddler is such a love bug - typically I love it because she always wants to hug, kiss and snuggle up on the couch.  Unfortunately when she is sick it also means that I am assured to catch whatever she has within the week………which is exactly the case right now.  A week before I had her at the urgent care clinic with influenza A….and now here I am suffering with the same thing. 

The good news is that I had already stocked the house with all of the over-the-counter necessities to make it just a little bit less miserable.  The even better news is that the physician she saw last week gave her cough syrup with codeine and told me that there would be more than enough for her to use so when this happened I could use the rest.  He even told me the correct dosage that I would require - thank god for kind souls. 

Thankfully the entire family got the flu shot this year so we will only have to suffer for a brief period of time - so there is a light at the end of the tunnel….. so until tomorrow as I am off to take a brief nap before my kids get back from swimming……..

 Valentine’s Day is such a fun holiday - especially for the toddlers.  I remember making my Valentine’s Day box at school either from a shoe box or Kleenex box.  Typically I would use aluminum foil to wrap the box with hearts cut from red paper taped all over it. 

I always leave a Valentine’s Day present for each of my kids out on the counter the morning of Valentine’s Day.  Typically it isn’t too big of a gift but a little something to know that they are my Valentine.  This year, however, they are going to be a little bit spoiled.  I try to pick up some things during the after Christmas sales for both Valentine’s Day as well as Easter.  That way the only thing I have to purchase at full price for either of the holidays is the candy. 

Therefore, my three-year-old is getting a board game as well as a new V-tech V-smile game……..she just got over influenza A so she is ready for a new game to play.  My older daughter will be getting a new pair of jeans along with a red t-shirt.  Like I said, a little much for Valentine’s Day……but if I told you I spent less than $25 bucks per kid wouldn’t that make it better?  Yes, that’s right - I said less than $25 each - what a bargain!

 Irresponsibility in adults drives me absolutely crazy!  My ex is a good example of this exact act so I will use his miserable attempt at life to demonstrate.  He does not see his daughter, he does not pay his child support and is currently over $10,000 in arrears, he did not buy her a Christmas or birthday present this year, and has now called me to inform me that he doesn’t have any money to pay his portion of the medical bills. 

However, he does have enough money to continue to do all of the things that he enjoys including playing baseball one night per week, playing darts one night per week, in addition playing in every state, tri-state, and city tournament of each of those items whenever they are offered.  In addition to that, prior to the state not allowing him to obtain a license he also used to go hunting and fishing whenever the chance arose. 

He is self employed and therefore the state is not able to garnish his wages so instead he uses the funds for his two homes, two pick-ups, a car, a boat, and most recently a hot tub.  So when I called him to discuss my irritation ….he informed me that I was just being “difficult”.  Which I guess I am….after all I am just paying for his daughter’s daycare, food, clothing, and medical bills…..   

 The world seems so different now than it did when I grew up - and I’m not even 40 yet.  When I was growing up kids could play outside without anyone worrying about them getting abducted.  Teens could cause mischief and only had to worry about getting in trouble with their parents ……..not criminally charged.  We went to school without metal detectors and didn’t worry about someone bringing in armed weapons.  Yes, we did have bullies at school and when you were their victim it felt as though the day was never going to be over….but we got through it.

In my childhood, during the winter months we used to take turns doing each others hair on Saturday night to try out the latest style.  (Friday nights were reserved for the high school basketball/football games.)  On Saturday or Sunday afternoon there was at least one card game or board game going on.  We used to read and listen to music when we were bored.  Today it seems as though every pass time has a plug in. 

On the flip side, however, I know that my youngest daughter knows more now at 3 than I did when I went to kindergarten.  My oldest daughter at 16 has a passport that she has used, has been to both sides of the United States, and easily has had more travel experiences than I had prior to turning 25.  Is their life better because of these additional opportunities….I would like to say yes.  Will their life be better and easier than ours just as mine was from my parents…again I would like to say yes.   Is it our responsibility as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. to make sure that we make it better for the next generation…….in my opinion….yes. 

 Due to the bizarre situation and the interesting players, the Caylee Anthony murder case still seems to draw a lot of media attention.  As I’m sure you are aware Caylee’s mother, Casey Anthony, is accused of her murder. 

Casey was a young single mother raising her daughter in Orlando, Florida.  Caylee went missing mid-June but was not reported missing by her mother until a 911 call was made by Cindy Anthony, Caylee’s grandmother.  This was the beginning of the media craze -after all, who doesn’t call to report their child missing? 

This case has continued to be disturbing throughout.  I had previously written a post regarding the suspicion that Casey had accidently overdosed Caylee with chloroform.  On that note, it now has come out that Casey had searched for chloroform on Google three months prior to the date that Caylee went missing - leading one to believe that this whole thing may have been planned. 

However, as more and more information has come forward regarding the case, it has just continued to get more and more attention by the media.  There have been many allegations including some crazy ones such as that Casey’s brother, Lee, might be the biological father of Caylee.  There have been allegations that seem as though there maybe something to it - but who really knows - such as that somehow one or more of the Anthony family was involved in getting Caylee found.  It is believed that the Anthony’s did this specifically to cause doubt about whether or not Casey would have been capable of placing Caylee in the area where her body was located due to the fact that she was in prison.  There have been allegations regarding Casey’s former boyfriends, the attorney’s, the police, as well as the private investigators in the case.

Throughout all of the allegations, the date which would have been Caylee’s third birthday, and the months of sitting behind bars - Casey Anthony has been….silent.