Jan 24 2009
Isn’t Anyone Happy Anymore?
I just found out that a girlfriend of mine just got separated from her husband. From what I know now it seems like she made the right choice for both of them. Having been through my own difficult relationships in the past it shouldn’t still surprise me how many people have a tough time making it work….but it does. And really why wouldn’t it? So many people do such a good job pretending to the outside world that everything is “great” at home; when in fact, they are just like the rest of us, just trying to get through the day….the week…the year.
Which brings me to the question; if everyone was honest and up front with the issues they were having at home, do you think more people would try to work it out? For some reason I believe that because we all pretend our relationships are without problems everyone believes there is something better to be had. That their relationship somehow wasn’t meant to be…..that they should leave to go find their “soul mate”.
My first marriage was destined to end in divorce but we were both young and didn’t know any better. With my second daughters father I believe that we both had expectations of the other that couldn’t possibly be met with reality. Had we both lowered our expectations to a reasonable level I think we would have had a chance of making it…..hind site is a wonderful gift.
For what it’s worth, I’m happy.
A good question. If we had lower expectations going into a relationship, does it ensure longevity?
I guess I would have to disagree. I know even the most outwardly perfect family has plenty of skeletons in their closet. I don’t think I actually want to hear that from them. Perhaps it is just part of the grand illusion, but I need to have some amount of optimism in my life.
I would argue that while it’s good to have reasonable expectations, too much pessimism could be self fulfilling. If you just go into a relationship expecting it to be imperfect and ultimately a failure, chances are it probably will.
I think the increasingly common act of jumping out of a relationship you’re in to go find your “soul mate” is one part delusion (thank you Hollywood for much of this), but also one part instant gratification. People just WANT things…and they want it now, with little to no work. Relationships take effort, even with Prince Charming.
http://foreverfamily.today.com